on being prophetic (4)
Sorry it’s been awhile. Since my last post I have spent a week camping in Yosemite and Sequoia National Parks and then had just two days at home before leaving for an 8-day backpacking trip in Ansel Adams Wilderness, just outside of Yosemite. I’ll write more about that later (when I have pics!) but for now I want to get back to the subject of being prophetic.
It’s hard for me to say that I have a prophetic edge. Sometimes I think I am assuming too much or thinking too highly of myself. Sometimes I think it isn’t a prophetic knowledge of God’s will that I possess but just an idealistic stubborn side of my own personality. Maybe I just look or feel like I have a prophetic side to me when really all I have is a self-righteous side.
I am afraid of the hypocrisy of the pharisees every time I think I have something prophetic to say. I am afraid that I really just have my own agenda and am trying to put Jesus’ name on it by labeling myself as prophetic. It’s a dangerous thing. I don’t want to call upon Jesus’ credibility to get my agendas furthered in this world. So I get scared of admitting or even thinking I may have a prophetic gift. I doubt pastors get scared of admitting they have the ability to to care for people or preachers have difficultly in saying that they can teach people, but prophets? Woah. “Um, yes, I believe I have the ability to know God’s heart on current matters and speak God’s truth to the community of Christians.” Yikes! That’s a scary claim.
But, can I deny it? I think I am still trying to figure out if I really have this gift, but if I do, can I deny it? No. Not for my sake but for God’s glory. I cannot say that I am not something God made me to be. I cannot try to hide a gift God gave me because I am afraid of it. I cannot try to swallow those things that I feel God nudging me to say. Being afraid of a gift or trying to hide it does the opposite of glorifying God… it stands in opposition of his mission. So where I may want to believe I am being humble by assuming that God has not gifted me in any way, I am really standing in opposition of God’s will, and no way do I want to be doing that.
So, I’m going to take this slow. I’m going to try to figure this out. I’m going to try to “discern” (to use a very over-used church-word) my gifts. And maybe I’ll even find someone else who thinks they have a prophetic streak to help me along the way.